I like this.


I once wanted to write a poem that "yes children the monsters under the bed ARE real", but it was a twisted metaphor for child abuse.

Great poem.

I really like the idea that the darkness lies and the personification of the darkness - crooning a lullaby, staying beside 'you' til morning, lying... and then ending with 'I am the darkness.'

I am struck speechless. Amazing poem.

I really like your punctuation in this piece, the flow it creates is really great. I also love the ending, the last line was just a great way to end it. Your descriptions of the monster and darkness were really powerful too. The only thing is the phrasing of the last line in the first stanza seemed awkward to me, the phrasing and the repetition, but other than that I liked it a lot.

crap. that last line is .. yeah. it's like if someone plays this awesome piece of music on the piano and the audience hesitates two seconds before breaking out in applause. i love it. i didn't feel much for the line breaks though, they weren't bad, but they didn't add much to it either. nothing you should worry about anyway.

by the way 'nightmares tangled up in the bedsheets' is fucking brilliant.

Great piece! It wasn't at all what I thought it was going to be about from reading the title, but none-the-less kept me reading. Very good job :)

you're back!! thanks for the reviews.
i like the simplicity of this piece, it correctly depicts how that black consuming hatred feeling feels like. but still, i find something missing. maybe thats just me being wierd.
still, i'm glad to see something from you again.

more poetry soon?
;)

Scary,

'the white noise of terror'
great line.