I love it! The only suggestion I would make would be to slow it down and get deeper into his perspective, in each moment what is he feeling(emotionally and physically), hearing, doing, smelling - you've got some good pace, but I think you can get deeper into the tension of the situation. And the first few paragraphs really draw you in, it starts well and it's well written. Keep at it!

Whoa, this is actually really good. Can't wait to read more!