omg u must post again son love it!

No! You can't let yourself be distracted by other stories! If you do that, then you won't be able to finish THIS story. All those other stories will still be there when you're done with this one, so dedicate yourself to it!

Anyways, about the story. This chapter was dominated by dialogue- how about you try to give us some more descriptions? Like, what does the setting look like? Are the characters just talking to each other, or is it more like they're interacting? It was good of you to describe their code, but it's also good to break up the dialogue. :)

Is Bella a reference to Twilight? Please tell me no!

Amazing chapter and a great opening.

You have really put forward the emotions of the characters in such a way i was feeling for the charaecters themselves.


Although at times your writing can be slightly robotic, work on that and you'll be well on your way to a writing career ^^

AWESOME chapter! I can tell this sequel is going to be great. keep giving me fast updates!

Aw, Krissi's nephew is so cute! I can just imagine you talking to yourself and trying to figure out how to type his speech pattern, and that makes me smile.

Ha ha... I like how Krissi wolfed down the muffins. Brilliant pun!

This was a good start- it's all nice and happy! And of course, I'd like you to write more! The title sounds like some kind of foreshadowing, so I can't wait to find out the meaning behind it.

YAY! I love it so far. Great start!