finally an update. It was a little filler-ish but that's ok it was good anyway. Update soon!

Oh wow! I'm loving this story already! I kinda like how you used the ugly duckling turned into a swan theme for Ryan...oh! and I gotta say the whole 7th birthday party thing...very cute!

Wow. I randomly checked this story about two weeks ago for the first time in about six months, to see if it was even still alive - you hadn't updated in about a year lol. And NOW you update! Coincidence? I think not :)

Anyway, interesting. Try not to make it too much of a cliche right from the start; I mean, it's only chapter five. Draw out the story a little bit more :):)

Ryan is an interesting character. As is Erica, even though she's kinda your standard heroine. But I think you're insinuating their ending up together a little too early; they've only just gotten to know each other again. Let them get to know each other properly and grow close before you start delving in their romantic relationship.

And, of course, chuck in some standard drama. Girl and boy issues, jealous competition. Blah, blah, blah... You get what I mean I'm sure.

And for Pete's sake, don't go on a huge hiatus again. KEEP WRITING! XD

Update soon,

Panda

x

Uhh.. I like this story so far. Its interesting. I guess the only thing is it seems you take decades to update...but you said a new chapter would be coming so its alright. Update soon

Please finish this story?

Heya ]

Great chapter; things are starting to fall into place for the plotline to start snowballing ]

It's gonna be good; I can feel it! Bit random though; going out for ice cream at like eleven at night. Lol.

Update soon; I'll be waiting!

.xoxo

i like this so far! I really like the title too haha...update soon!

oh this sounds like it's going to be interesting! and ryan reminds me of phelps a bit...am i right? well can't wait for the next chappie!

I like the way the plot is unfolding in this story. I think though, that you should establish early on why Ryan and Erica haven't had much contact, or at least give some introduction to their friendship. Right now, Ryan just...exists. Sometimes you can let things unfold gradually, and it seems that this is what you're trying to do here, but you can drop little hints about Ryan here and there until he appears in the story to keep your readers wondering about him. He's just been a name in these past few chapters, and your summary leads the reader to believe that he plays a significant part in the story.

On another note, you can leave out certain descriptive details when you write. For instance, in chapter 2, you write: We had parked a street away that way it'd be easier for me to leave without getting stuck on his street. That's a detail that your readers really don't need to know, and it can be a bit distracting, a bit like you're rambling. Some descriptive detail is necessary to enable the reader to paint a picture of the scene in his or her mind, but whenever you want to add detail to your story, just ask yourself: is this important? How? Why do my readers need to know this?

I apologize if this seems overly critical. I really am anxious to read what you have planned for us next.

can't wait for the dinner!

Interesting start ]

Is it just me, or is the story MEANT to feel like it's set in a small country town somewhere? Maybe it's the truck thing

Can't wait for the dinner with the Pooles!

Update soon!

.xoxo

(yeah... couldn't be bothered signing in haha)

Panda's Archer

xx

Yay, great chapter.. poole sounds.. HOT? lol. even though you didn't describe him much but still, swimmers are always hot, lol. I'm excited for your stories. GOOD LUCK and have fun.

I'll be waiting for an update!

stareyed14

dudes this is great i hope ya keep posting 4 while

yay new ideas! keep it coming.

-stareyed14