love the images you paint and the last lines sum up the poem nicely. so far my fav from you.

" laced blue doves shattered in dancing tattoos

of blind beauty on the strips of your spider-web veins."

i am such a sucker for imagery. you blew me away first line in and then managed to sew it back into place the very last line. i guess i'm fortunate for that

truly,

eve

First off, I love the overall feel of this piece. It flows well, and the language you use is beautiful. I especially like"the landscape of your china doll lips." The imagery in the whole thing is great, but that line especially.

The one thing I think you could change is in the second to last stanza. The word "digital" kind of throws off the rhythm, and is kind of unnessecary, since "pixilized" implies that it is digital.

I like the last stanza a lot. The word 'roadblock' makes everything perfect.

Wow, there is some gorgeous imagery in this. I love the second stanza. The imagery is so vivid, even though it's not that bright, if that makes sense. Really beautiful poem. Keep writing! :)

the last stanza is awesome.

This is wild, and it feels like the words are trying to run through my brain. I love the lines "eyes loose in a tangle of mistrust" and "truth be told, you're just another roadblock"

Good!

McKinley