I like that there is simplicity in this poem, but I think it lacks depth and content, not to mention proper punctuation and capitalization.

I didn't really like this piece because it was very vague and perhaps a little too vague for me to give you any constructive criticism for it.

Essentially, I think this is a pre-poem of sorts - an idea that you've temporarily put into the form of a poem so that it can be expanded upon.

I'm interested to see what this pre-poem will expand into, if you plan to expand it at all.

-silv3rdr34ms

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