p.- okay. I'm going to give /constructive/ criticism. B/c even though the spelling's fine, the structure's bad.

You're character isn't realistic enough. Aspects of his personality should be delineated by you, but not actually placed into the story.

A person who is always feeling the intense emotions of death would act sad. Don't tell us what it's like to be 17, this story is rated M, meaning for 16+ being 16 is a much like being 17, while the "+" is either 17, or too bad.

Oh, and don't forget you're writing for fun. The story should start with action, and then divulge a bit into the main character, and then some on the side characters.

And give us more credit, a lot of the paragraphs are redundant, only write down the interesting details, emotional things, and the point of the story before the main plot is introduced is to introduce the main character, and attain empathy from the reader.

But yeah, you're characters are interesting and you are really creative. You just said too much about them. I don't really know the lead at this point.

so confused right now. Maybe it will clear up for me in later chapters.

hi again i just wanting to say i love this chapter, and i'm happy that some of my Question have been answer,and i cant wait to see what happen next. p.s i so love andrew he so rule, and the secret organization he join remind me of some kind of xman for psychic. but like said i love it and hope you update soon. with love lady sorrow

great work! and i like the flashback/dream u put at the end!

I like the end part. *nods*
very interesting...
fire rocks. :3
NO EVIL! BE GOOD A TELL ME!

IT BETTER BE ANSWEARD!! D< *Takes out a long sword and waves it about* You think you are so evil with your little evil laughs...

Hi first off i just want to say i love andrew, and his sarcastic humor. also i wanting to know is he going to work for some secret government agency? and also i want to say i love the last chapter and, can wait for the next. p.s please make chapter longer.

I AM NOT WAITING!!
*Gnaws on your arm, foaming at the mouth*
TELL ME!
You just keep making it mroe interesting...and I am never gunna find out! D': *Over dramatica*

good work here!

:3
Rocks.
So confusing! D: TELL WHAT THIS ALLABOUT ALREADY!

the last part was hillarious! also, the stalking done by greg was funny too. keep up with the great work and hope you update soon! :)

OMG! OMG! OMFG!
*jumping up and down* WHAT IS GOING ON!>!

and the plot thickens! dun dun dun!

DUN DUN DUUN! O:
The kid from the park!
*Shakes you* NEXT FRIDAY OR SATERDAY!
You have to be kidding me! D:

this looks really good! keep up the gr8 work!