This is an interesting story. It's fascinating that she got away with hiding the pregnancy for that long without anyone knowing. Still, you explained it well and was logical.

I like Patti and the extended family that you built up. Sometimes it's friends that end up being closer.

"Of course, Patty did go other placed" There's a small typo there with placed. Should be places.

Another thing that I noticed was the paragraph describing her playing softball. I don't know if it's me but I thought she was just there at the field reliving her past season. It wasn't until you told me the score that I found out that it was an actually game. I think you should make that a little more clear.

It was surprise to know that she was that far along! I think you set up enough clues but I didn't catch them. I assumed that she was maybe four months or whatever.

Nice job!

Wow...this was an amazing story. I loved it, and it was just so...interesting. Some of this did happen to you, and it's different, to get the point of view of an adopted child, especially when the story is so soap opera-y. Is you're dad actually your biological father? Or was that a change you made? And why did you never see Will again?

Anyway, amazing. I can't wait to read more by you. :)

Oh wow...is this based off a true story? This is insane..poor Millie. Oh, so is Georgia the sister? I get it now!! Gayle adopted Millie...how interesting. This is insane. But so good..I love it. :)

This is very entertaining...I can't believe Patty gave her up, and that Georgia took her in. So then who's the sister? That confuses me...but I guess that's the way four year olds think? I don;t know. :)

This is amazing so far...I absolutely love it. I can't wait to read more.

"it’s decay"--"its decay".

Aren't you lucky? Your chapter gets first priority in being reviewed now that I'm back to reviewing.

Wow. Great ending. It made me want to cry for her. Nice work.

~Twilight Starr~

Wow, what a dramatic moment to find out that her adoptive father is her biological one. I mean, Millie's mom was so loving that it's sad that he would do that to such a good woman. Really beautifully ended. I'd give a better (more comprehensive) review right now, but the thing is that I can't think of any more to say about this story without ruining the impact it had. Totally adding it to my favorites.

Anyway, your reply made me feel so validated. I'm definitely putting "The Last Khalid" on my to read list now. Oh!! And happy belated birthday!!

i really really like this chapter title. like, it's just kind of full circle, maybe? just because millie was always so confused about what was real.

"my mother passes away from leukemia." -- D: D: D: D: D:

D: this chapter is so depressing! like, the first paragraph just hurts to read.

Oh wait I totally just remembered she's married! That announcement kind of got put on the back burner after Gayle died. What's his name? And I love how he's so understanding about the whole situation. I want an awesome husband like that.

"parents who have given their kids up for adoption aren’t supposed to stay in contact with their adopted families" --okay wait, that's so not true. Like, there are open adoptions, where people give up their babies because they literally can't take care of them but they still want to be involved in the child's life! Stop being silly, Millie's husband.

"Just because my family adopted her child doesn’t mean that she can’t have anything to do with them ever again" --thank you, Millie.

And thank you, Millie's husband. Totes reacted awesomely to that explanation.

D: why is this chapter so depressing! now you're hurting Millie's dad!

"he claims that my mother has been sitting at the end of the bed staring at him at night. Another woman, he says, has also been in his room with her three small children, and they just keep watching him while he’s trying to sleep." --okay that is so.o.o.o.o.o creepy.

"I wonder what it’s like to know that I have the biological power to help someone I love" --a.w.w.w.w.w.w. Millie! This chapter hurts, gp.

“Well, that shouldn’t really matter,” --YAY! SAVE MILLIE'S DAD. I am going to start a campaign. With like posters and stickers, or something. It will be amazing and it will be about saving Millie's dad. But I think this is the last chapter so yeah, just don't kill him off! Because then all this preparation will have been for nothing.

“And how are you related to Jay Peters?” --FATHER. OH MAN.

"Perhaps my gestures will make sense to this man." --hahaha Millie! I love you.

"I think he is just trying to find more things to add to my dad’s medical bill." --hee. But the dad's going to be okay, right? MY CAMPAIGN IS WORKING, LOOK AT THAT

"Acting like children helps distract us when heavy things like hospitals and impending death are on our minds." --so totally true.

"the blood types of my brother, my dad, and me are enough to suggest relation" --CALLED IT.

"My seventy-year-old dad is still off his rocker (both literally and figuratively) in the hospital bed and has no clue what’s going on." --okay, so my campaign isn't working. well, this sucks.

"There is a 99 percent change that John Peters is my biological father." --wait. okay. i am so totally wrong. i thought the dad was Jay!! oh man, now this just makes me really sad. I TAKE BACK MY CAMPAIGN.

"My dad cheated on my mom with my sister’s best friend" --see above. No more campaigning for you, Millie's dad! MILLIE'S REAL DAD. WAIT, THAT TOTALLY BLOWS MY MIND RIGHT NOW. D: D: D: I feel like that deserves a sad face, for some reason. Poor Gayle!

p.s. where is Millie's husband in all of this? He's totally my fave, just because he hasn't been wrapped up in any drama.

"I’m glad she’s not here to learn this information." --so am I. sad chapter!

"But for some reason, I’m not happy about it" -- D: MILLIE.

"because he is still in the hospital and completely out of his mind." --oh my God this chapter depresses me so much. I don't know why I decided to quote this part, though. Mainly because everything's falling apart? IT'S SAD.

"Jay becomes standoffish" --I totally need to apologize to him now cause I thought he was the father. Um. Sorry, Jay.

"Is that what a real father would do?" --n.o.o.o.o.o.o.o. Personally, Millie, your real father is rather squicky.

"He gave me his blood; should I give him mine?" --I do not know why I love this quote so much. I just do.

"I sob for her because she was too great of a person to deserve even an ounce of anything that terrible." --I MISS GAYLE.

"I miss her" --it looks like me and Millie are twins, now.

Perfect last line, seriously. This chapter was so mind-boggling what with everything that happened but I just feel like that last line wrapped it up perfectly. Very nice. I mean it's not really a happy ending in the sense that the last chapter was SO DEPRESSING, but it's a realistic ending. Like even after all of this, Millie's life is going to go on. It sucks that she's lost Gayle, though. I really miss Gayle.

OH SNAP, MILLIE'S DAD WAS HAVING THE HALLUCINATIONS BECAUSE HE FEELS GUILTY. Sorry, that just came to me in a brain flash and really needed to be but in all caps. Just so you know.

This was a true story! Aw man, I don't know what to say about that. Seriously, I'm glad you wrote this, because it was definitely one of the best things you've written and it was just so honest and yes it was realistic! Do not put yourself down like that, I loved every single second. Except for the very depressing chapter four, but I can grow to love it in time. Possibly.

Sorry I took so long to review! DQ

This was an interesting story. I just thought I would write a quick note about the genetic stuff: for a kidney donation they will do blood type matching, and also tissue matching. Blood type is realated to genetics, but not so closely that it would create enough interest for a doctor to perform a paternity test. It would be in the tissue matching that they look at genes, and where there would be a possibility of finding that someone is related. Just a little information there, because I am full of medical info. :) Cheers!

Gilly

i am so behind on my reviewing that it really isn't funny anymore. anyway. i'm here now! :)

Aww, poor Millie. I really feel bad for her; she just wants all the last name issues to be over. It's like she doesn't have an identity because people expect her to be someone else.

"the school administrators are heartless bastards" --hahaha I love that.

"I change schools again in tenth grade" --why does she keep changing schools? Is it because of the name thing? Personally, I wouldn't want to change all over the place.

"my mom sets a candy dish filled with Hershey’s miniature candy cars on the nightstand next to my bed" --that is such a cute detail. I don't know why.

"I have to go back into the chambers with the judge and talk to him by myself" --that's gotta be so scary!! I am such a shy person, seriously, and if I had to do that I would probably just burst into tears halfway through.

"For some reason, this relieves me a little" --it relieves me too. Except I'm not the one doing this. Never mind.

"who looks uncannily similar to Adam Sandler" --I love Adam Sandler! Random, I know.

"We find it hard to believe that he didn’t speak a word of English when he first came to this county last year." --hahahahaha

I like this scene with the judge. It seems very realistic to me, for some reason, especially Millie's concerns about the word "real."

"Adam Sandler jumps in immediately" --hahaha I love how she calls him Adam Sandler in her head.

"My mom cries because her name will finally be on my birth certificate where it belongs, and I cry because now I can use the name Peters without any ramifications." --a.w.w.w.w.w.w

"The lady is not convinced that my absence is excusable" --okay, seriously, attendance ladies are so stingy when it comes to excused absences! The one at my school needed to have your parents call and have you get a note, it was just ridiculous.

"My mom wants to pull out the old birth certificate and burn it, but she can’t find it." --for some reason that makes me feel really bad for Patty. I don't know why. I guess I kinda got invested in her back in the first chapter! haha

"She can’t find it because I have stolen it." --now Millie's a klepto too?! It's like an epidemic!

"The result was that twenty or so people showed up at their house and then proceeded to drive a caravan to Patty’s house around the corner, demanding that the baby be given back to them" --hahaha

"That’s the last time I ever see Will." --a.w.w.w.w.w that's sad. I guess she doesn't feel close to her brother, but still.

"I still don’t know who my father is" --okay now I am so totally curious about who her father is. You keep bringing it up when I've completely forgotten about it.

I really like the way time passes chronologically. Like you don't need to share every detail of Millie's life. You just sort of go over the important things and then move on. It's very realistic, in my opinion.

"But then I start exercising more and doing crossword puzzles, just to be safe." --hahaha oh, Millie. I kind of love you.

Hey Gran,

So... I remember you warning me that this chapter might be weird and not as touching as the others, but you were only right about one thing. It was a little weird, but in an entertaining/readable way. The part about Millie's dad seeing the people in his room was spooky - I scare easily. And also touching because I know that older people can sometimes go insane/die of a broken heart when their lifelong partner passes.

Anyway, for the other stuff... so interesting. I enjoyed reading it. The last chapter was beautiful and... ta dah... touching!

Thank you for sharing this story and I'm sure if your mother were reading this she would be so proud of you. You're a great writer and a great person. If you were my daughter, I would be proud.

I don't think you need to add the author's note. It's so well written that it becomes convincing.

hey! I like your chapter names. by the way.

[Four months after I get married in 2006, my mother passes away from leukemia.]

I'm sure this isn't interesting to you, but in bengali, in formal speaking, that's how people relate things that happened in the past. they have a normal past tense, but for some reason they say things in present tense like that. I know nothing about grammar, so I dont know why they do that, but whatever.

anyway, your entire story has been in present tense, but that's the first time I related it in my mind to that.

I like using present tense. it gives it a sort of immediate feeling and makes it sound... cool... yeah. DQ has the right idea.

I have to say that this is the saddest of the chapters that I've read. it makes me sad just knowing that it's based on a true story, but you know, it was really good. the way you talk about blood and family and what's real is so interesting, and I like it a lot.

I knew this was inspired by things that have happened to you in your life before I read this far, since you'd told me about your adoption before. but even if I hadn't known, the way you write is so honest and so true sounding that I would have believed it anyway.

if that makes sense.

the ending is beautiful. your mom must have been a strong woman, and that last paragraph highlights that wonderfully.

ps I just noticed that elisefey is reading this story. isn't she the coolest? :) all right. bye, you.

You know, I think right about the last paragraph of the first chapter and throughout the second chapter I'd realized that the story really wasn't Patty's story but I'd been writing the review as I was reading the chapter and after I finished I was too lazy to go back and change what I'd said... yeah... Anyway, after having read the second and third chapters, I'd actually say that maybe expanding Patty's story in the first chapter is a bad idea because then it really is kind of startling how the focus shifts away from her. But, at the same time, maybe you could work in more of that indirect narrative you use on her daughter's story: you know, the sort of seemless series of vignettes that blend into each other but are still made distinct by one or two very select details. Yeah... Er, something like that... I'm a little tired.

In any case, I like the scene with the judge where Millie has to answer questions and calls her dad her "real" dad.

[From then on, I don’t even try to hide the fact that I am adopted...suddenly that old pride from my early childhood comes rushing back] -- love that.

The detail of Millie stealing the old birth certificate and hiding it is so interesting (I like that you mention it's under where the candies were) especially because she's not even sure why she did it. It's great that she's proud of her adoption and yet some subconscious part of her feels a pull to keep that part of her identity.

[The part that makes me feel so stupid is that I know my biological mother. Certainly I can just call her up and ask her what kind of diseases or medical problems people in her family have had—that way I would at least know something. But I don’t do it. It feels like treason to my “real” family.] - great moment of conflict.

The revelation at the end of this chapter that she wasn't wanted is so sad. Really well done. I'm really enjoying this story.

p.s. Re: your review reply from the prev chapter. I feel compelled to make a disclaimer that if you read Island Olivier, despite it's popularity, it is not one of my better works...

This was a wonderful mixture of emotions. I felt touched, tears began to sting my eyes at certain parts, but there were also parts where I smiled. My two favorite parts for smiles were Adam Sandler and the last line. As for everything else, thank you for sharing this story with us. Really. It's beautiful. I think I want to tell my adopted sisters about it, but I don't know if they're mature enough yet to want to read it.

Thanks again. Really.