I like what I've read so far...wish you had continued hte story.

In your first sentence, I think you should make the 'out ride' into one word, so 'outride.' And in the second sentence I think you mean 'steed' instead of 'stead.'
You have an 'every' in the sentence where it's talking about lanterns over the tables that's missing it's 'y'.
When Zaldae is asking for the Queen of Thieves, you have an extra quotation mark slipped in there, you'll want to delete it. Also, "back tot he queen."

Other than the small mistakes that I found, I really like what you have so far. You've given me enough information to get me interested, yet you still keep it mysterious. And you have a nice sized first chapter. You're descriptions are pretty good too.

Look forward to seeing what you do with this story.

~~Beer Run August, at the Roadhouse [Link in profile]
~Caecilia