You used the word "Black" twice within a few stanzas and it sounded redundant because that's an unusual word to use, then used it again at the end. Eh.

You repeat yourself a lot in this poem, and the repetition isn't done well enough to be really powerful... you keep saying the same ideas over and over again. Maybe it would be better to just shorten it.

-Jesse
Attack of the review marathon! (link in profile)