nice.

Good ending.

This was absolutely wonderful. So much is said in so few words and at the beginning things seem happy and sweet but then there is a complete change in the tone. & the ending is just lovely with, "“roses are red, darling,” I say, press a
Kiss to her nose, “and violets are blue”" perfect.

it began innocently, then tension builds as the speaker sings discordantly, and it suddenly grips you as the mother screams, then leaves you numb at the end of the song, and yet it's very brief.
i think it's cleverly put together - so much in just a small piece.
keep rockin'.

The contrast of moods in this gives me chills. Very bittersweet and beautiful. Your writing is gorgeous.

its been a while darling.

how have you been? i thought i gave you my email, though most probably wrong. if you still read these reviews, give me a shout out on my profile. i'm thinking of updating soon

take care, and, as always, beautiful poetry.

there's something so sad about this poem :(

I really love the last two stanzas...but i want to know, did you mean to say off-tune? If so, it's really compelling to think about...

so, so gorgeous. i need to drop by more often. >

Awh. I think this is stunningly beautiful. It's sad and sweet and it captures your emotion perfectly.

i LOVE this poem! no lie. it was flawless and extremely effective. for some reason i loved this line, "As I sing, off-tune and loud, to her
" perfection. and now i shall add this to my favs:)

This is a really powerful piece. I liked it a lot.

i love this.
all of your poems are so beautiful.
excellent job.

i like the contrast of moods here, makes it very poignant and quite the statement too, and i swear not only are my reviews going down in intelligence but this site is getting run over more and more by ads and random crap, its cluttering my brain and making me weirded out by the sudden noises and colors, almost as bad as tv...ANYWAYZ, i got chills reading the her hair ripped out in chunks line, made all the rest come more to life for me, a strong piece here

Nice to see you writing again!

It seemed odd that you didn't capitalize roses since you capitalized the beginning of every other line.

Also, "“roses are red, darling,” I say, press a"... pressing

I like it, as I was reading, I was surprised it was such a happy piece, very unlike you. I liked that sudden change because it was really surprising. Nice job.

PS If you're bored this weekend check out the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile)

the end is just perfect,
"roses are red, darling," I say, press a
Kiss to her nose, "and violets are blue"
just strikes me somewhere in my heart