 intensity 2008-08-20 . chapter 1I like this title. I have no idea how it relates, but I like it. I'm not so wild about the moon simile, being compared to the sun. I think you might be able to make a more captivating comparison there. Also, on the nitpicky side of things "feelins" should either be feelin' or another use of the verb.
I love your ending though. Nice. |