haha :)
well i personally love the misspellings and the young grammar~
at least you have heart
and are paying attention to the real things that are happening in school

the specifics of where to put commas and all will come with time and age i guess
if they must

but keep thinking
:]

With on-line dictionaries and thesauri, and with built-in spell-checkers, and with people available for beta at FP, there's hardly an excuse for spelling or grammatical errors for anyone who fancies (him/her)self a writer. "4om": forum? typos: "piont" (point), "maby" (maybe), "scince" (since), "tourcher" (torture), "wimdows" (windows), etc. A writer who won't take his/her own work seriously enough to detect and correct these errors should probably not expect readers to take the work seriously.

That said...pretty creative idea, using multiple points of view.

On your summary, you need to spellcheck. Also, you need to cut out the words "the end" at the ending of your first chapter. It's a very juvenile way to end a piece, and you have a conclusion to stand instead of that phrase, so you're doing good.
I like that your using multiple points of view, very creative.