Judging from the ending of the chapter, you are planning to update some chapters. So: Pretty good first chapter. I especially liked the ending when Jim thought 'Jake Strange, why does that sound familiar?'

It shows that the story possibly is going to revolve around him or something. Nice introduction of that character. Don't have much to say grammar-wise.

Keep writing
PB

Hey, this is pretty good. Well-written. I'll be sure to keep an eye on it for updates.

- Koki