Champion of the Nyght? Really? With a 'y?' Really?

Anyway, nice addition to the first. I'm still miffed that Malcom hasn't gotten out of the ground yet. It's a crying shame, really. What's an undead boy got to do to see the sun again?

Several funny bits stood out from the rest for me. Quite amusing. Like... "It made him shiver just thinking about it – that and the fact that, somewhere along the line, someone who was not him had seen his ding-a-ling. It was too terrible to imagine!" You said 'ding-a-ling.' *sniggers*

Um, I don't feel like going back through and finding others. Just know that it was funny and that I enjoyed it.

Please add more! I want to see Malcom finally get out of the ground and discover what it means to be a Champion of the Nyght! And because words with 'y's instead of 'i's are more interesting!

Felicia!

So he's a zombie... and now there are ghosts. Well, you just like to throw all this stuff out there at once, don't you? Nevermind that we're still stuck in the ground somewhere in a cemetary...

Well, an oddly humorous beginning. I almost dread to see where it'll go in the next chapter... almost. I'm still going to read it.

Um... what else can I say? That part at the end with the dialogue between the two (I'm assuming) ghosts is a little bland. If you had some action of some sort in there, it'd flow more smoothly. But that's really my only complaint. Oh, and that Malcom is still stuck in a casket at the end of the first chapter. ;)

Felicia.

This story, man, is absolutely hilarious. I laughed myself to death reading it...no don't bury me yet, I'm nowhere as dead as Macolm in the middle - of a coffin, and I like staying alive, thank you very much. Anyway, great story! And funny as well.

Another great chapter, I can’t wait to find out what happens next. The only thing that I could suggest might need improvement is the banter between the characters rescuing Malcolm. It goes on just a little too long and starts to slow down the pace of the story. Apart from that this chapter was really well done. Keep Writing.

Hilarious. xD Even though it wasn't in first person, your could really sense Malcolm's voice and personality through your words. I especially loved the recurring joke of his cheap parents as well as the scene between him and his friend. Those kept me hooked in even more.

Also, very well done with your first sentence and paragraph, they both made me laugh. Well done.

You’ve got me hooked. I really like your use of humour, especially the description of the spider crawling up Malcolm’s nose, that was a very nice touch. Can’t wait to seeing what happens next. What I’d like to see is how does having just over half a brain affect not only memories but Malcolm’s personality. Also what abilities has he lost or perhaps gained because of it. Looking forward to the next chapter.