Beautiful.

Um...wow! This story was very well written. I loved the descriptions and details. But to be honest th ending kinda freaked me out, but that's just because I'm a sucker for happy endings!!

Very creepy, but it was good at the same time. I totally couldn't see the ending coming; I thought she was going to tell him that she'd found out so she couldn't see him anymore. Despite the whole morbidness of it, though, I actually kinda liked the ending! I don't know why. I think I'm weird, haha

[It ate at her heart and she always gave in, even if she knew the thousand and one reasons why she should have just left well enough alone.] I love this line. It totally conveys how torn she is.

[It also made her what everybody else liked to call “The Other Woman”. But she didn’t know that until fairly recently, which made her feel like a real idiot.] I also like this line, too. The Other Women are always made out to be evil she-** so it's good to see their sides in the story every once in a while. I've been in that position before, and I imagine countless other girls have too.

[and he never ever asked her age.] This kind of shows that he's an inconsiderate **. It shows that 1) he doesn't care about knowing things about her and 2) he doesn't care if he gets in trouble for statutory rape (unless they're both older? I can't really tell their age).

[She stared at them for a long time, watching their subtle gestures of matrimony. She had a wedding ring on her finger and so did he. He never wore it when he went over to her apartment; not once.] Aww. How sad. Poor girl.

[Grabbing the pillow as quickly as she could, she smothered him. He wasn’t a strong man or anything – he wasn’t skinny, but he certainly wasn’t big-built – so it wasn’t as difficult. She was sitting on him and she had her entire pillow over his nose and mouth, making it impossible for him to breath.]

I think that last word should be 'breathe'.

[That my, my friend, is how the game ends]

Wow that's so creepy. I really didn't see that coming.

Good job!

Okay, you're right, it is morbid but I loved it!
You're a great writer!

Oh, creepy!

I liked this. I didn't even really see the end coming. I mean...yikes!!

I liked your descriptions, though. And the way it was written was really clever.

Great!

-Andee

(stares at) o_o

Wow. Morbid indeed. What a turnabout. Not truly unexpected, but then again, you never know with these kind of stories. Nicely written. I like the odd little 'flashbacks' in between. Insanity is a beautiful thing to behold, especially when it starts messing with what people call 'love'. XD