this is a really good story and I hope you continue to write it.

This is for me a completely new subject and therefore very interesting. I hope you will update soon.

She seems so ... human
it was very nicely detailed, as well as Chance with his interaction with the sea.

Ah... I have a feeling that both of their promises will not be kept... Good chapter. I'm kind of confused, though - if it was really his first time on shore, why did he seem so comfortable there? Also, this instant love feels a little... instant. There wasn't much time for feelings to develop. I can understand that they might be interested in each other, but I don't know about romance after such a short meeting.
Other than that, awesome! Keep up the good work.

aw, your a reli good author. i liked the hot chocolate thing, and i dont live on the street, but good hot chocolate is still hard to come by!
and it was, i'm in awe. that was soo awesome!
and the fact she couldnt say about where she lived...and the fact that she had to get back to the shelter so she got a spot. it was incredibly sweet. loved it!
and the line that has been used so many times.. "can i see you again?"
incredibly sweet and touching.
pwetty pwease with chelsea, and a cherry on top update soon?
~inkypinkyanna~

okay, now this is seriously cool! i love it! there is no doubt about it! it is absolutly awesome!
~inkypinkyanna~

oh. exciting. it sounds like an actual story opening. i want to pick up the book now lol. evil person. hehe. what is done, is done i guess

It's got personality, the entire writing. Very nice and well written. I like how the flow is going

uh.. excuse me madame, but WHY IS THIS AMAZINGLY WELL WRITTEN TASTER NOT FINISHED!
C'mon, pweease?!! Ill do almost anythng! its so addactive!
If it were for sale in the shops i would buy it!! (Ahem, dont get any ideas, not till you've finished it!)

Luv ya, pumkin,
Miz, Calixte 8P

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! What do you think you are DOING?!
Up date NOW!
I mean NOW, NOW!! tjis is SO GOOD!! im getting depressed!!
Finish it!!


WHY IS IT NOT UPDATED YET!!
mOVE IT PUMPKIN!!

I luv ya!

This was another good chapter. I still find your descriptions very interesting and engaging. You ended the chapter on a nice note and your characters were interesting, too. I would have liked to know a little more about what happened in Chelsea's past, but I think some more will be revealed in later chapters.

I noticed a little something, "Making her was towards the door..." It needs to be "making her way." I hate it when Word doesn't catch that stuff, lol.

Good job. This is going on my alert list. :)

Very nice...You do really well with the detail,

You know, I was just thinking about this story, saying to myself, "Gee, I remember this. I wonder if this story will ever update? It sure looks interesting - I would hate to think that the first chapter was it and that this story would be added to an ever-growing pile of one-chapter stories on my alert list." Now that notion is null and void - forget I said anything.

I like the chapter, although I do think it is a bit strange that she is so comfortable with having only a fourth-grade education. Surely she goes to the library sometimes? I understand her fears of water, though. You have a pretty good image of that (I'm slightly hydrophobic myself!) and the reason behind it. Strangely, I'm having a bit of trouble picturing Tarrytown. Where is this? What country? Is there a definite country? Is it modern? Run down? Middle ages? No, not middle ages... I don't really get it so much... But you have to understand that I also have trouble telling my right hand from my left hand, so it might just be me. I'm captivated to stick around until I find out.

But I love it so far, and... darn you! Update!!
~Chris Rhyanne

I really like the start you have here. It seemed like it would be a little cliched, but I liked it nonetheless, especially the use of the term "were-fish." You decription is wonderful - I could see everything in my mind's eye. :)

This line I felt was a little awkward, "When the first sprays and drops of water hit her skin, she shivered, raising goose flesh on her white skin" - "goose flesh" sounds a little strange. Maybe goose bumps or goose pimples? I've heard both terms used before, and it might just be where you live. There's probably several different ways to say it, but that's just my thought on it.

You've got a great start here, and I'm going to keep my eye on it. :)

you have to continue this, who cares if you didn't get alot of reviews it always takes until the third chapter until you start getting more reviews (I know from experience). But you should definitly keep it up.