LS,

The idea is interesting and I can see that there are a number of elements that you are drawing on which show promise.

MS

This story sounds like it has a lot of potential and can't wait to see how everything plays out. On the bad side, you keep going back between past and present tense throughout the prologue. And the semi-colons are a bit overuse, which is my own personal opinion. Some sentences can be structured into their own instead of one long-one. I see great things for this story from this prologue and can't wait for future chapters.