My one complaint is the beginning has too many lines without italics in relation to the rest of the piece which is only two or three lines. It seems out of place.

I do like the format, the way you italicize words and shortness of the lines, it works well with the subject matter. I also like all the sound words, it was like I could hear the action taking place. It's a really cute piece, nice job.

PS If you're bored this weekend check out the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile)