"was bars" should be "were bars" i believe. besides that this was a relaly powerful poem, you ended it really well, almost seemed planned. keep up the great work! (r&r my stuff if youd like :))

wow!

good. very, very good.

Wow...that was an amazing poem. It kind of scared me cos my grandpa died from a disease he got from being a heroin addict. But that was REALLY GOOD. YOU MUST WRITE MORE STUFF YOU ARE SUCH AN AMAZING WRITER!

I think this my possibly be my Favorite poem. Suzy you're such a beautiful writer. Teach me to write such mejestic work.

Great poem. It tells it like it is. Keep it up