You're lucky. My creative writing teacher never let us use fictionpress for critique. She'd even hunt us down on it.

I really like this and the first stanza leaves a certain resonance that I can't quite find a word for.

The beneath, where you used 'neath is a nice touch. It reminds me of British poetry.

One the last line I would spilt it at the comma like:

threatening to dissipate forever,
left wanting what was never ours.

Thats just what I would do. I like your poem, and I expect you to make a real good grade on this.