Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: Winchester - Reviews: Page 1 of 27
Fleur-de-lis Evans 2009-10-30 . chapter 1
Hello!
This was a great introduction chapter. There was a lot of focus on the orphanage and the children, so hopefully there is more in the next few chapters about Audra because as a reader there wasn't alot I learned about her,

However, I enjoyed her interactions with Parker and Joey, they are characterized well. Parker is especially vibrant and likeable.

A few things noticed:

"Let’s get a move on! Breakfast is IN ten minutes[comma] and Aunt Vera won’t be happy if she has to wait for you."

", but knowing she had to be just as firm with HIM as the other children, she moved closer."

Kudos on an interesting first chapter
EyesFullOfWonder 2009-10-22 . chapter 1
I enjoyed it! I can totally relate to Audra. I feel the same way. I think I am going to enjoy reading this story (which I will be doing slowly...)!
Sam
P.S. Just so you know, I'm a forum admin. on , and me and my forum have a little book club thing, and we decided to read your story for our book club...because we all like historical romances, and decided FP would be a good place to find stuff. So, I just thought I would let you know! Not really any reason to tell you. But...I am. So...yeah.
ElvenKnight15 2009-07-21 . chapter 35
nice chapter
rougette 2009-07-17 . chapter 39
I think this has become my favorite story of yours! Great job writing it (:
rougette 2009-07-17 . chapter 29
Poor little Parker!
rougette 2009-07-17 . chapter 26
This chapter made me completely melt! Just the other day, my "Parker" got in trouble for shoving another boy who had said something (jokingly) unkind about me. I love this story, haha (:
rougette 2009-07-17 . chapter 24
OH NO! I'm so sad :(
rougette 2009-07-17 . chapter 14
Parker is adorable. I have a Parker in my own life and as I'm reading this, I'm seeing this little boy say and do everything that Park does. Great chapter (:
rougette 2009-07-01 . chapter 11
1) Firstly I have to express my excitement over the use of "pop" instead of "soda" or "cola" or anything like that. I don't read many stories that say pop, haha. It must be a midwestern thing.

2) Secondly, I LOVED the whole baseball game. I don't know if you've heard of (or been to!) Greenfield Village but they have mock baseball games JUST like the one you wrote about. Same era and all! It reminded me of it (:
rougette 2009-07-01 . chapter 6
This is quickly becoming my favorite of your stories!
rougette 2009-07-01 . chapter 5
Simon's adorable! But I have a feeling he's not gonna be the one for Olivia, lol.
rougette 2009-07-01 . chapter 3
I'm so glad Parker is alright! He's such a sweetheart. He reminds me of a little bit of every little boy I've ever felt endearment toward. And Dr. Sullivan was so sweet to him! Very cute chapter (:
rougette 2009-06-01 . chapter 1
Ah, NOW I see who Parker is. Great, great job. You've obviously worked with children before. The thing I like about your writing is that it's so real but still obviously historical fiction. What I mean to say is that you make it very realistic but keep to the times with the speech, clothing, everyday chores, etc. How much research do you do for a story? Sorry I have so many questions to ask and I'm sure you're very busy. Anyway, great chapter, great beginning for a story, you really established the characters well (Audra was the name of a girl with kool-aid dyed purple hair in my theatre camp years ago, LOL) and it left me wanting more.
ElvenKnight15 2009-04-12 . chapter 34
loved the chapter and sorry for the late review
slei 2009-03-14 . chapter 39
I love this story! You are an awesome writer
Return to Top