I think the punctuation is a bit off. You're missing some commas and periods, but for the most part it worked well.

One thing I don't like is the whole bolding and italicizing the whole piece, I don't see how it creates any emphasis, you know?

I do like the personification, it was detailed and well done. I also like the way you use line breaks, it works well with the flow.

PS If you're bored this weekend check out the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile)