Hmm things are getting interesting. It's definitely getting me to that point where I don't want to stop reading till I finish it. Ahriman is a very complicated character, and he confuses me. I really don't know what to expect from him, but I still can't help having a little bit of hope that he will change his mind. I keep thinking if he could just have some different experiences and spend time with a different kind of people, his outlook on the world would change.

Oh my goodness! Poor Rowe, but I love all the drama. I also really enjoyed how Satine handled Ahriman and his men, and it was neat to see Devon come back for her. Definitely wasn't expecting that. I would write more but I'm impatient to read the next part, so off I go.

Couldn't fit my review!! Here is more!

Very interesting kissing scene at the end of the chapter. I've read it twice now, and I think it came at the right time and place with just enough bizarreness to be a surprise and still be believable. My only critique about the scene was that it was slightly hard for me to follow Satine's reaction. At times I felt she was taking the lead and showing confidence to Rowe that it was okay to want her, and then some lines made me think she was having her doubts about whether he wanted her. Like this exchange:

“You don’t want me.” His voice was a whisper, but his body had pressed closer to her.

...“You’re just scared,” she hissed, gripping his shirt tighter and tugging him towards her.

...She blinked and shook her head. “This is a distraction, isn’t it?” she asked. It was the only thing that she could think of that would justify Rowe Blackwell kissing her. He was distracting her and going to attack her or something. Was this one of his insane practice sessions? Had that man been part of it?

He blinked. “No…”

“Rowe, let me decide what is right and wrong for me...” she gripped his shirt tighter.

See what I mean?

More thoughts! I probably should have mentioned this last chapter, but it confused me slightly that the refugees knew where to find the top secret disguised city. Is this something that's common knowledge? If the non-resistance people are having so much trouble because of them, why hasn't its location been given away to Ahriman yet in exchange for some village's safety?

Also, I think you meant it this way, but it annoys me that Devon and co. expect refuge from Rowe's camp, but criticize their efforts. I do like the introduction of Devon as a possible turncoat, though, and his motivations are very believable, which makes him rather interesting as an antagonist. I don't remember him very well, but I am guessing he was in the story earlier and i forgot about him.

Ahriman is a perverted psychopath. Nuff said.

Rowe being chained to the ground = :) Nuff said.

I am finally getting around to reviewing now! Here are my reactions for this part:
-I love Satine's clumsiness/Rowe's protectiveness, almost as much as I love Rowe sucking at sports.
-The teasing of Rowe and Satine by their friends was a perfect setup for the sexual tension toward the end of the chapter while they're taking baths.
-The whole scene with Rowe and Satine in their home together gave me a really well-developed idea of the security/intimacy/subtle awkwardness of their relationship. I love how you describe all their little rituals like what it means when curtains are closed, and the scene where Rowe warns that he can't carry her to bed implies that he occasionally does, which is adorable.

you are an awesome writer! This was such a detailed chapter! I mean the way you write about the battles and planning the attack makes me think that you've done it. you know? its just so real. I love it! i can't wait to read more! update again soon please :)

the end made me smile

great chapter! I'm glad she finally came out and told everyone, and that her and Rowe have FINALLY acknowledged their feelings for one another! I can't wait to see what happens next! Update again soon! :)

wow intense chapter! I'm really glad u updated...thanks for the nice long chapter!! I can't wait to read the next one! update again soon

Another awesome chapter! I really like what you did with Rowe. You used a really awesome metaphor - the one that refers to his voice as silk on glass. I have a really vivid picture of his voice now that I very rarely get in fiction.

One suggestion is that the reference to the secret book's map being like a zoom on a flat screen doesn't seem congruent with the technology of the rest of the world, so it somehow didn't quite seem to fit. It also seems difficult to survive a night with an arrow wound without receiving some minimal care, like a bandage. I think that would be easy enough for Rowe to do without Satine, like maybe wrapping a piece of cloth tight around his back or something. It just seems like you'd bleed to death otherwise.

Overall, it is really awesome and I can't wait to see how they train Satine. Please make more!

Wow! That was pretty intense. Ahriman is one confused guy. He does have that supervillain charm though. I think the bedroom scene played out with just the right balance of detail. It will be interesting to see what Satine and Rowe do next. I'll be waiting for the next chapter!

Ahriman and Satine should just make babies, there personalities fit together perfectly.

not.

I just started reading ur story and i love it! Its so interesting! I can't wait to read more. update again soon plz!

Yay, another chapter : ) I feel sorry for Satine at this point, although I also feel for Rowe. I liked the way you made him react to Satine's leaving. It might be helpful in this chapter or the next to explain who Clair is a little bit and maybe describe her age and appearance. Great chapter, please make more!

Hello,

I'm new to the story and I really like the plot line so far. But you really need to consider proofreading and using spellcheck prior to posting your chapters. Some of the misspellings or misuse of words is distracting.
For example:
Poor (related to weath) vs pour (rain) or pore (skin)
Waist (body part) vs. Waste (garbage, useless)
"he walked with an heir of grace..." should be "...air
of grace"

Just a couple of examples, simple oversights like that can lead to fewer readers.