I read all of these. I'll comment here because I was left haunted. Such imagery - and I nice picture that creates empathy.

My favorite line: the razor still hides in her favorite book, tucked between page 345 and 346 -- you can touch it and see the spice of detail. It made me want to know what book, and what was written on that page.

Much enjoyed.

So the smiling adults in my life like to tell me that I have a gift for drawing out heartfelt emotions. But I think you've done that a lot better with all of these--and this one, most definitely.

So...yeah. YOU IS BETTER. YOU IS TEH AWESOME.

(...uh, yeah. Nice job. Sorry; I'm never very coherent on reviews...)

I like this chapter better because it gives more of a personalized view of the charecter, in the details of how she reads her diary. It still feels a bit general in some places, but the stream-of-conciousness diary details really strengthen this chapter.

I think you needed more detail for an opening chapter. Right now, the focus on the general pain overtone gives hte story a bit of a generic angsty feel. You could set it apart a bit by adding more personal details about this main charecter.

Like I ever would. I think it's very sad, actually, though of course brilliantly written.

The quote ties in perfectly with the story. I especially liked "alone, she breaks. her body hits the floor without grace." It almost rhymes, in a way. Or maybe that's just me.

Well written.

I like the quote at the beginning, said by Mariah, apparently.

I must steal it. Haha.

If that's okay, of course.

Just to post on my Fictionpress or MySpace or something.

LOVE the word jungle in relation to hair.

[her virginia slims still rest inside the back of her speakers, the sweet smell seeping out with her music and lulling her into peace.]

this is gorgeous. love the placement of all of these things. very bitter piece, but I loved it. you do really well with making me feel.

your writing is so stylish.

I love the angst in this piece...

[her body hits the floor without grace and her limbs are so scarred, they all look the same. ]

love this line, it's got a lot of... um... physicality? is that even the right word? uh, this is why I don't write things with big words, but you know what I mean? there's an evocative image here.

and then the idea that she doesn't want to stop hurting ties in with the quote from the song really well.

Isn't the fact that nothing ever change common knowledge? If not, then the stupidity of people just went up a notch. Either way, I adore this.

i like this, it's one of those angsty pieces, which i love, but what made it bad for me is that not enough detail was added.

[Hmm, so, I've been talking to echo and now I'm talking to october? xD For the record, I think that no one can ever understand another person entirely.]
This is lovely. Reminds me quite a lot of myself. Sort of. I would love for this to be a collection.

Beautiful. I'm looking fowards to reading more of this.

I assume that the lowercase letters are on purpose. That's a really fun style to write in.