“You? Light-heated?” - i think you meant light-headed.

you want to be careful with character voice. keep it consistent and realistic - (i'm assuming this is in modern day.)

your writing is extremely descriptive.
amazing.

you're just as good at fiction as you are poetry.
i like the dry humor.

you want to be careful with how much is fiction and how much is based on your reality, though. there aren't so many similarities, but i can feel them.
you write what you know, but for fiction you cannot write yourself. that's what your pillowbook is for. keep that in mind.
(:

:D
I'm waiting for the moment when Ilene finds out about Will's girlfriend. That's going to be interesting.

:D

I wish you'd update this more often. I always forget what's happened last and end up having to re-read part of the last chapter. D: But hey.

It's good all the same.

>.< AWE!

AMAZING! utterly amazing, your discriptions, your wording... GREAT!

I really enjoy reading this, I hope you update soon :D

Liked it a lot, yes.
Still, I found it a little weird that Ilene suddenly dares to do that, I feel like it doesn't suit her personality that much... or I don't know, maybe it's because it's been only 6 chapters so obviously I can't know her that much anyways.
So, continue the writing, I'm enjoying this quite a bit.

You know, Ilene really IS a bitch. Haha. But I LOVE her.

This makes me excited.

As does the rest of the story.

Yup.

Post that next chapter, biotch.

well, whatever the reason he'll get toghter with ilene, and i like Andromeda to. this was a very good chapter. keep up the good work.
~Undrahas

That little author's note at the end was really really funny.

Haha.

Good chapter, but yes, the ending is a bit abrupt. Which means you better damn well update soon, bitch.

Andromeda? ANDROMEDA? BITCH! Hahahahaha.

And pink hair. JUST LIKE TONKS, DAMNIT!

XD.

... 'I assure that I have absolutely no kind of fetish besides one involving animal crackers and whipped cream' hehehehe. I loved that.

Natalie. XD ily. This is amazing.

Amber was reading over my shoulder and freaking out.

lol, i love how he can't stop thinking about her, even when he's just waking up from a fuck-session with a hot girl...wow, he's got it bad. how many more chapters before they meet again? i'd like the next chapter soon, darling!

Ilene seems a bit like a snob, quite frankly. But I do like her character.

The opening piece to the concert reminded me of Scherezade... hmm... yup.

Nix is my favorite. Haha. He's just... I don't know. For some reason, I find manwhores to be quite humorous.