"Pulled...through barbed-wire emotions." What a brilliant way of describing the pangs of living and feeling.

"And yet, there is a beauty here, in dereliction." There is beauty in abandonment? Now that's a powerful/profound thought! :)

Ooh, I love that word now. Dereliction. Just rolls right off the tongue. Very nice piece you have here. It's morbid but not in the way that gives me the creeps. More like in an interesting, abstract way. Also, word choice is just beautiful. Very nice use of word association.

"unsought, unwanted; rejected"

I can FEEL that right there. Good job.

-Dee, from the Review Marathon.

[Check up on it. Link's in my profile.]

I like your descriptions because they are simple yet vivid.

I also liked your metaphors of things such as barbed wire and thorns because it enforced the emotion of this poem.

Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)

OUCH!

Those adjectives are very vivid.

That's so cool, .Goodbye.

Narq

Mind if you come and look at Akano - Narq's story? Thanks.