Your descriptions here are amazing.

'bonfire ready

Flames like acrobats that flip and tease and twist.'

I love that image. Wonderfully written.

"Inside his eyes, tiny spools wound"... it seemed weird that this was in past tense since the rest is in present.

Your punctuation is pretty much perfect (though I think between the second and third line you need something and I think there should be a comma between the book and snake thing), which is great. I also really love your descriptions (as always; they are absolutely beautiful and so unique. I also like the balance between similes and just descriptions. Really great piece.

PS If you're bored this weekend check out the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile)