wow. This is really good. Wait, this is two pages? Wouldn't've thought it.

But it's very descriptive without being "heavy" as you put it. And it's very erotic. But I can totally see it and it almost feels like you're THEE, feeling the rain. I defy anyone who reads this to not remember times they ran outside and played in the rain.

It's also feels sort of... sedated almost. A slow, slightly giddy feeling where you're really exhausted and everything is slowing down. It's nice.

VERY powerful stuff. I love it!

very touching.

This is really beautiful. You're a talented writer.