Reviews for Forgotten Memory - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Forgotten Memory - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Lilith Rei 2008-10-07 ch 7,	Keep up the good work :D
Finding.a.pen 2008-10-07 ch 7,	The escape was quick but amusing. I just love Karen's attitude towards Neil here. It's adorable, honestly. Ah~ you made the dude rich. Ha ha. Rental car maybe (Muahaha~) I wasn't expecting a chapter until the next day. Although, I don't really mind that you posted this fast~ Keep up the good work~
Finding.a.pen 2008-10-07 ch 6,	"You're my responsibility" Ahh~
Finding.a.pen 2008-10-07 ch 5,	What the hell?! I was feeling all happy with the two of them and you crushed my spirits with her reaction! How dare you? Ha ha. Obviously, everyone would understand her reaction. But you ruined the moment. Moment ruin-er. . . At least they get to meet again soon, right? (Better be~)
Finding.a.pen 2008-10-07 ch 4,	Shocking cliff-hanger! Bwahaha~~ She was so adorable when she asked him if they were together! It was even more adorable when he "admitted" that he'd like that. I already feel the chemistry in the relationship. (If there even is. If not, then the invisible relationship~ Ha ha)
Finding.a.pen 2008-10-07 ch 3,	Ahh~ this is the scene now. Man, poor Karen. You're so mean, y'know? Making the headlights all broken and crap. Ha ha. I felt like I was edging in my seat when I reached the middle of the chapter. So fortunate for you, no constructive criticism. As of now this is my favourite chapter~
Finding.a.pen 2008-10-07 ch 2,	Amanda pretty much reminds me of a certain someone. Is it her? (I think you know who I'm talking about. Ha ha) There's a misplace with a punctuation here, but I'll just leave that to you to look for. ;3 Eh. Expect remarks from me that involves the tiniest of things, ok? I felt the pain of Karen at the end. Great job!
Finding.a.pen 2008-10-07 ch 1,	Ha ha. I'm just concerned about "For all I knew" I don't know if it's just me, but since Karen is referring to her present knowledge then shouldn't it be: "For all I know"? I may be wrong though. . . Anyways, I'm pretty interested with the story. I can't wait to read the rest of it if I have the time. Maybe you should update more slowly~ ;D Ah ha. Now on with chapter 2~
Knight's-Cross 2008-10-04 ch 1,	great dialogue, i can feel the characters attitude and stuff just by their dialogue
Knight's-Cross 2008-10-04 ch 6,	hey great story, i could actually feel the emotion coming from the characters. keep righting i'm at the edge i want to know whats going to happen next.
superficialSagacity 2008-10-02 ch 6,	WOW...I wonder what made him so upset the night of the prom.. D:
Carina 2008-10-01 ch 6,	I think your story has potential. Right now though it seems a bit rushed and disjointed. I liked that her mother made her go to prom, that was funny. But her friend moving randomly that night, and not having told her? That seems out of touch with reality. Also, if she's under 18 they just wouldn't release her from the hospital, social services would take over, or a relative. In fact, if she's an amnesia patient, they wouldn't release her unless it was in the care of someone else. I would also think the cops would either have him in custody or if he's on bail they wouldn't let him near her. (Unless he fled the scene of the accident and they don't know).
cookiepiecookiepie 2008-10-01 ch 6,	Update! =)
inkspatters 2008-10-01 ch 6,	Ok, this is getting a tad unrealistic. First off, she would know her name because they would have searched up her medical records etc at hospital. Second of all, they wouldn't have released her to go ambling through the streets, someone would have been required to take care of her. If she has absolutely no remaining family, the government would have arranged a foster family. I'm sorry, but I'm finding it hard to believe this, even though the writing is good. Perhaps with a little plot tweaking you'd have a more believable story. On a positive note, the writing is still good and the last line is simply brilliant. Neil's character as well as Karen's are being developed well, but I'd like to see more, so update soon, ok? Good work, -Ink-
inkspatters 2008-10-01 ch 5,	Oh, the plot thickens. Um, I think her release from hospital is a little sketchy and could use more detail. When someone is released from hospital the doctors have to make sure they're fine first, like do a bunch of tests to make sure they're healthy etc. Not just ask if they're ok. I like how you're having Neil pay for her mother's funeral. It's an interesting way to spice things up, but I want to know later how a teenager managed to afford all that. So make sure you tell us, ok?

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