Love this poem! Story and structure (rhyming) are wonderful =)

Have to agree with flush-pink about the syllables--some lines are a little too short to work with the rest.

Waiting to read more of your writing!

pretty poem =)
but...okay sorry to be a critic...there are times some lines are like missing syllables. >.< sorry! just had to say.
but it's very nice, i like the story. =) so sweet.

the rhyming in this amazing.
and i also like the story.

Great poem, and everything rhymes so perfectly. Ever think of putting this to music?