Reviews for Black Moonlight - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Black Moonlight

Vopi 2008-10-12 ch 2,	Finally found some time to take a look at this story. I like it a lot. Elves are wondrous creatures, hence why I chose to write my story about them. I really like how you describe your characters, particularly how you chose the owl's perspective in the prologue. I'm interested to know more about the culture of your elves. You mentioned a shrine or temple. What kind of religion do they have? How do they sustain themselves if they are isolated to the forest? I also like your comment about how the wise women are always off with the weather. Reminds me of today's weathermen. Anyways, great job and looking forward to future updates. Thanks for reviewing my story btw. I always appreciate feedback, and usually like to return it when people give it to me. Hope you continue to read it and enjoy it, and be sure to tell me what you think as you read it.
Nicola Guills 2008-10-04 ch 2,	Hi! I love that you sent me a reminder. In fact, do it whenever you feel that I haven't reviewed in a while. It helps me out alot. It was early morning when she awoke, feeling refreshed and lively. Pink clouds drifted through a golden sky, the sun blazed a fiery orange. The sickbay had quieted down, and many of the patients were asleep. Some of the healers rested in wooden rocking chairs, others just getting out of their beds and preparing for a hard day’s work. The pain in her head was all but gone, so she decided to get up. Getting out of the comfortable bed, she made her way towards the door, the thoughts of the angry man inside her head. She knew the voice belonged to Amnar, a hot-headed villager who was very popular amongst the women. He had long black hair, shining violet eyes, and a long nose. Like all of the elves, his face was clear from blemishes, his skin a perfect gold. His words echoed in her head. In the begining of the second paragraph, I suggest you replace "Getting out" with something like, "Climbing from the confortable bed..." because you said Getting out at the end of the first paragraph and you don't want it to sound redundant. Sarnet. I love that name! All-in-all very intersting! We learn a little more about Almira and the world she lives in. I love it! Can't wait for the next update! ~nicola~
Nicola Guills 2008-09-25 ch 1,	Very very intriguing! Tonight must me the night of good stories for I've hit the jackpot today! :D This is, like, the third new fantasy story that isn't...well,...how about uniteresting? I find myself wanting to know what happens next! Great job at setting up the suspense!! :D My teeny suggestion, though, would be...since this is from an owl's point of view, he would notice certain things that a human wouldn't right? You should add the smells, sizes, and things that animals would generally notice. I don't think a owl would notice how pretty a human looks (if they can even judge?) rather than how dangerous they look, and feel, and smell, ya know? Just to take it to that extra step, you should add some animalistic things that only an owl would notice. Is the lady trembling? Is the dude cocky, malicious, any bad/good vibes radiating from them? Stuff like that. I love this by the way! Keep up the good work. Ciao! ~nicola~

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