good!!

deep, i imagined the speaker talking slowly, it gave me peace and made me rest and the subject the poem is about is sad

The first stanza makes me think of writer's block in a way. When it comes, it comes heavily and no matter how hard you hack away at it, you never fully harvest everything you *know* you have in you. If this makes sense. And because, rereading the few words your writer's block has allowed you, it's not enough to last until the "winter" is over, we migrate to something other than writing, for a time. Or at least I do.

But imagining you do migrate like me, the last stanza is curious. As if the further you walk away from poetry, literature, your written memories, the stronger that magnetic (for want of a more appropriate word) pull becomes and they grow stronger in voice, until they're all you remember.

I find life funny, some days all I can think about is writing it instead of living it, but they're too interchangeable, and that's the beauty of the muse I suppose.

Thankyou, I really enjoyed this piece even though I may have butchered it with my opinions.

This was a really good poem. I enjoyed the rhyming scheme it seemed to just flow, easy to read. Overall nice work.

Not a good thing to replace all your old chapters 'cause I can't review now! Lol...

My only idea for the last line is "discover they aren't there." This way you lose the word that which kinda sounds like a filler word.

Anyway I like the blue moon thing, it's a nice way to tie the expression into the stars line. Nice job.

I liked it! It was kinda sad, but I totally understood it, which really says something.

Again wonderful job! I really love the flow of this poem and the story it tells can be about so many situation...slavery, being at war, death..you say it was supposed to be a happy poem, but maybe it really wasn't supposed to be. I say, listen to your heart and just let the words flow. It will turn out the way it is ment to turn out. Don't force yourself to change anything because you might lose the talent you have if you do.

Review for the Review game: Poetry Easy Fix:

Is this a Haiku? It's under general, so I dunno, but the syllables are right and everything... so I guess it is.

I like that it sticks to the traditional style of haiku even with the meaning of each line because it gives that old feel to it.
Despite this, I dislike it in the sense that each line was a statement, and though this is what haikus typically are, the lines lacked vibrancy and colour and imagery that allow haikus to be more than just statements.

You mentioned that you might make it into another poem later, and with the idea you have for the poem, I don't think haiku was the best style choice. I'd try something different.

You've got a good idea, you just need to expand more. Try some adjectives or adverbs... those might help too XD

Great Start! Keep Writing!

erm...i have to admit that i don't know much about poetry but what i do like about your haiku is the image that you've painted for your readers. The image of someone looking up at the stars once in a while but then finding that they're not there, if you take it metaphorically, can be translated into something quite deep and meaningful. At first when i read it i thought...huh? and then i thought about it and it struck me that there was a deeper meaning =.= this poem should strike a tone with a lot of people.

the only thing i'd have to say is that you could perhaps dress it up a little? it's fine the way it is now, and i know it's difficult with so little words at your disposal, but you might benefit from some prettier words =p or you could even make it more vague and take out the 'I' - it might bring a sense of mystery and intrigue. but yea it's fine the way it is =)

good work!

i like this one. to me, it shows a feeling of abandonment (sp?) in a creative way

i also like how you stuck to the traditional haiku form

I like this! It works by itself, but if you want to make it into a longer poem, than I have no objections! As for the last line sounding to 'cacophonous,' perhaps that would be fixed by changing it to 'I look up to the stars and / find that they're missing' or something like 'I look up to the stars and / notice they're gone.' Just a suggestiong, though, since it works as it is. :)

I really liked the flow in this poem. Nothing seemed out of place or choppy, and your choice of words were simple, yet did their job. I especially liked this line, "I fear I will not leave this place/ To return to my home awhile." This is so great. (:
-Gob

Awe, that's rather sad. I doubt its the point but still...
It's very truthful in a sense, and a ver ywell written peom.
:]
Bravo.

These are simple and unique, the writing exploring the nature of its own existance. Very good. The only problem I could find was your little disclaimers at the top. Why in the world would you put crappy writing up for all the world to see? You shouldn't tell people, "oh this sucks ,"and then beg for them to put little nice reviews up on your screen. If you really think its crappy, don't waste your time and ours putting it up for the world to look at. If you don't think its crappy, don't say so just so people can contradict you, comfort you and tell you"no, no it's all right. don't be too ** yourself."

I don't like '...till I can't stand' as it is, attached to the second line. I think it is strong enough to stand on it's own. Leaving the second line as two lines. Maybe changing the '...till...' to 'Until...' I also feel the same about the second line 'I give it my heart and soul.' I feel that it would add more depth of emotion and strength if the two things that sustains you had it's own line. 'I give it my heart/And my soul'
Overall I think you described the way an unwritten poem ravages it's host, until it's down on paper, beautifully. I'm fighting with myself over the last line. I want to read it as '...a poem' but you have it written as ...'my poem.' I guess it's just my nature for nitpicking.