I finally read to the end of what's written, and like it very much. You should write more of it. I'm now very interested in Alteng's plight and his previous adventures. I like how human you've made every character (even the non-human ones) and how you make it clear that long-held superstitions and fears don't change overnight. (By the way I do have another chapter up in case you wanted to read it, I just squished the two before it together.) I am also impressed by how much you put into your stories. Good job!

I only got this far... I'll try to read more later. Very good story, if a little heavy on the detail for me. I like your characters a lot, and your pacing is excellent: not too fast and not too slow. I'm slightly envious. Good job. :)

I can't believe I read this all in one sitting! I'd take that as a HUGE compliment if I were you — I have the attention span of a gnat, and your story managed to keep me captivated through eight chapters. And this from the girl who's been reading five different books since September and hasn't finished a single one of them. Alteng is certainly an interesting character, and I love Ryley. He's the picture of the admiral captain, but completely three-dimensional all the same. Great piece!

Hello, it's me again! Sorry I took so long to get back to your story (scratches back of head sheepishly). Anyway, I just wanted to say that I find Mathews to be amusing. The captain's crew is quite the superstitious lot, aren't they? I haven't really seen anything wrong grammatically, and the chapter was fun to read. I look forward to reading the rest! And thank you for your reviews, they really cheered me up.
Until the next chapter!
Lyn-san.

I think this was a nice but slow start. You're not lacking on description by any means which is nice. I think the formal way of writing that you have here fits with the story. I'm not exactly seeing the conflict yet but I guess the confrontation with the man is setting up for one.

Nice job so far.

Hmm. Hello there. I was reading wolfblood's reviews for Circles of Arven when I saw yours, so I decided to see if you've written any stories as well, and the one that stood out to me was this one. The word Klabautermann... does it have a meaning? Aside from that, this first chapter of yours is amazing! Your use of description makes me feel like I'm right there as events unfold in the story! I feel sorry for the elf tho... poor elf. It seems I have to read two other stories to get his background? I'll try to review chapter 2 tomorrow though, my eyes are closing on me.
See you at chapter 2!
Lyn-san

So he's leaving the crew? But then again people have to do what they have to do for themselves. At least where stories are concerned. ^^ I really don't have anything bad to say except a little more dialog would've been nice...but the description does set a good tone for the story. You do good work so please continue.

Another good chapter. The kobold interests me...perhaps not really for any particular reason, but it does.

The chapters were all still well written and the story continued nicely. This chapter, however, probably could have used a little more dialog to help it not drag as much. But either way its just my opinion. It really doesn't matter much. The story is still exellently executed.

Thanks again for the review. I like to return the favor, so I went under your profile and the title of this story caught my interest.

So a sea story? I haven't seen many of these. I think my favorite character is going to be Ryley.

Your writing style is very well refined. You have an unusually good balance between dialog and descriptions that creates a scene that isnt overkill and characters that have a bit of life to them. All and all, good job.

I like this. It's easy to see you've done some research before you started writing this when it comes to life on a ship. And that extra effort makes all the difference. It will be interesting to see what this Klabautermann will do when eventually confronted. As Matthews says, all good things have a price.

Erm, okay. So I guess this story is coming to an end soon. Sucks to know that. I really enjoyed this story especially with one of my two favorite Kobolds as the main character. :S With that being said, Spitzel dying could be more or less expected given his condition. If I remember correctly, he wasn't that good constitution wise to start with. As for Alteng, I really wonder if his instincts on death was some kind of magic. Or maybe it's just something he's born with. I don't know tbh. As for his talents in navigation, I guess it's either him knowing it from experience or it's just that he's talented in this area. Maybe even both. I don't know. Anyway, I guess this story will end in a few chapters' span. Sad to see it end, but still glad to review a good story. :)

Okay, so someone did die, but from a wasting illness like Gelb Hout's jaundice. Even if the storm hadn't happened Spitzel still, probably, would have died.

Will the story end when Alteng leaves the Antonia or will it continue to chronicle his travels? Also, what does Klabautermann mean? Language isn't really my specialty unless it is made up.

Not much to say on this chapter.

Shadowhound

That's it? The storm's over? It lasted a whole three paragraphs. Then they hit the eye of the storm and it dies out. Usually they hit the eye of the storm and are tossed back into hell unless they manage to stay in the calm center long enough for the storm to die out. That takes a lot of frantic effort to stay in the center and not get torn to bits. Not sure it's possible, actually.

So everyone survives? Then what was the point of the storm? You could have very well skipped it entirely and it wouldn't have made a difference. Even today people die at sea. The sea is just as violent and turbulent as it was a thousand years ago, maybe even more violent and turbulent if its affected by global warming and all that other fun stuff.
Killing off a character isn't always necessary, but you could have added an emotional outcome to the end of it by making the crew realize that not everyone made it out alive. The lucky ones survived. The not-so-lucky ones will never be seen again. Friends would have been lost, even people they might not have been fond of won't be there anymore and there will be a hole where that people used to be. Death is tragic, and you just ruined a great chance to laying an emotional layer on the reader. I'm a little angry with you about this.

Kudos for getting me angry, though. Most stories just make me angry with myself for reading them to begin with.

'Not more than two feet from the ground'
'Ground' doesn't really work here. You're still on a ship and you're pretty far out at sea to be two feet from the ground...unless they DIDN'T survive the storm?

Was anyone even injured during the storm? If not, I'm going back to my What Was the Point stance.

I know Alteng's not a child, but why does he talk like Tiny Tim? He's much more submissive here than he is in other stories, though it could be attributed to his Kobald nature around humans.

Shadowhound

'unlike the pirate ships. There was no count of a vote to decide the decisions of the ship.'
Did you watch a special on Blackbeard? I remember hearing the same thing there but don't know for certain...must resist temptation to wikipedia it. Huh. Didn't know wikipedia could be used as a verb.

Drowning in holy water? Makes me wonder. Technically all water needs is the blessing of a priest to become holy. If a priest blessed the seas, would they become holy? Or would the fact that the seas remain cold and alien and murderous revoke the benediction? Could a blessed thing commit a sin?
This is a part that could use some dialogue instead of a rushed explanation. You really don't do enough dialogue, whereas I probably do too much.

'and pulled everything with it not nailed down like an enormous claw of some great beast'
The 'claw of some great beast' is the right idea but could do with a better metaphor. You're at sea, there's tons of great sea monsters that could better suit this situation. Leviathan, kraken, whale, the wrathful hand of some sea god, anything that might increase the tension and add to the story than some vague beast.

'but the artificial appendage held fast'
A bit wordy. 'but the hook held fast' would work just fine. Could also use some more physical description. Does he feel like his arm is going to be ripped out of his socket? Is the hook pulling free from its wrist, is the original wound reopening? Is he screaming in fear/pain/ecstasy? Ecstasy's an odd one, but nothing makes you feel more alive than almost dying. Why do you think people simulate it all the time with cliff diving, base jumping, or any number of reckless and dangerous activities. There is a rush to it.

Shadowhound

Sorry for the belated review. I attribute it to my slothful nature and use Christmas as an excuse.

Sir Studly Styles? Odd choice but still funny.

'the Kobold managed to work his way through a suspicious crew’s fears and into their hearts.'
Seriously? That fast? Couldn't you show some interaction with the crew that shows they don't think of him as an abomination as much as they used to? Granted, when people are faced with their preconceptions they tend to find their views skewed, but often the initial hostility remains for a time. They might think of Alteng as a child, but he doesn't really look the part. How many children have hooks for hands and are missing eyes?

'for the tiny janitor'
'Janitor' is an anachronism for this time period.

Also interesting is how easily Alteng let himself be lifted. Even if he is a kobald, go ask a midget how they feel about being picked up. Or as Gimli put it, "You never toss a dwarf."

I don't think it would be possible for Alteng to play a stringed instrument. Using a bow requires a lot of wrist movement. Maybe a horn? A trumpet might work, just nothing that requires use of both hands to a great extent. What about a harmonica? He has a boyish voice...castrato?

It's interesting to read this about how Alteng hates Olivier, yet eventually forgives him. Interesting.

Shadowhound