I thought the flow was fine. I like your writing style. A lot of poetry I've read so far almost seems like entries out of someone's diary, but yours seem to have a professional touch, with all the thoughtful metaphors.

It's more adult literature than teen literature, I think :)

This is wonderful.
Wonderful word choice
and I absolutely love the use of "guardrail"

"And below the no-sun sky, I saw the world double.

Sky above, sky below.

Rippling mirrors of icy flow."

wonderful.
i favorited this, and i would favorite it again without hesitation.
some of the best poetry ive read in a long time,
you are a poet
you are beautiful
dont let anyone convince you otherwise.

"I held a piece of hysteria in my hands,
And I was chocking it to death.
I will have order."

That was so visual and intense! I loved the 'I will have order' part; that was PHENOMENAL! :)