Reviews for The Bastard General

Jessica
2008-10-03
ch 2,

hey! fantastic so far! keep it up. ;)

I. Degolier
2008-10-03
ch 2,

I think you have a great story here and you have clearly put a lot of thought and effort into your writing. I like the twist at the end of the first chapter when it becomes apparent that the new General is female. Also, there are several themes in your story,and symbolism such as light/dark, that I hope will be expanded upon in later chapters. A couple of minor suggestions: it's not clear to me if the twins' guardianship is to protect Lys or to strengthen her leadership as the new General. For example, they mention she should learn to use a sword better, yet when they draw on her and she threatens to "tell the King" they don't respond. If she relies on the King's authority to preserve her position, her men will have no respect for her. In addition, the reasoning behind her decision to send "young" men south is a little vague. Is it because their reaction times will be faster than older men's in case of attack? Is it because their conduct during the previous campaign showed them to be in need of more combat experience? I think your story is highly original and I look forward to where you will take it, I'm just a little confused about these minor details.

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