I love how you made Eboella's transition from being one of the house to being a servant! It's believable, whereas in most versions of cinderella it's, like, "what the heck!? How did she become a servant?" Well done!

I like Coliadne allot. I think she's my favorite character. She just seems so sweet.

By the way, how old are they all? Although you said that Eboella and Coliadne are about the same age, I picture Coliadne as being about 6 or 7, Eboella as being about 13, and Malariana as being 15ish. Am I way off?

Hm... most interesting, indeed. So far, it is very much like Cinderella, as far as the story goes, but the characters seem a bit different. Since I'm also writing a version of a classic fairy tale, I understand that it's hard to make something your own while retaining the original story. So far, I like it. It seems a bit dark, or perhaps just unusual, partly because of something I noticed in the names-- Eboella is very similar to ebola, malariana/malaria, li, etc. I really don't know if you did that on purpose... if not, then it's a very interesting coincidence. lol.

There are a few spelling/grammar errors that I noticed:
"spend" should be "spent"
"tracts" should be "tracks"
"..mother, her.." might sound better as "..mother. Her.."
"..tuberculosis sure.." I think you meant "tuberculosis shortly"
"settle" should be "settled"
"..woman though disease.." should be "..woman, though disease.."
"..loyalties, both.." might sound better as "loyalties. Both"

I really like the story so far. I'll read more as soon as you post it! =D