Yellow marshmallows, really? I've never heard of such a thing... lol. That said, I like your description of her, it's really sweet and borderline cliched, which I think fits the character perfectly.

I do kind of wish the two were more similar though format wise. I think he should have more of a description in paragraph form.

I like the ending, interesting and unique but I would do the Mrs first 'cause you do the girl first, that might just be more consistent.

It is a really interesting piece and nicely done.

PS If you're bored check out the Review Game forum and/or it's Review Marathon (link in my profile).

A good set-up, I reckon! Eventhough you "tell" rather than "show", you tell in an interesting and compelling way. In a really short space you have laid out these people's basic personality andproblems without making it sound ordinary. Good feat. I assume this will be multi-chaptered? :p

On the down-side, my initial thought of the female was that...well...she's crazy (in the bad way). She seems a bit mentally unstable to tell you the truth ^^; While all is good and well with having such characters in stories, it did not seem as if you WANTED her to come off as crazy and the kind of person you should stay away from. Just so you know :p (I did very much enjoy all the interesting insights of her, though)

Nice start so far. Keep it up!

- Frac, from the Review Marathon (link in profile)

cool like it, one question is there more coming if so can't wait to read more if so.

Sounds good. I like it :) Keep it up and update soon!
Faith