Yay! I get more Jack! *grin*

I like it! Jack is nice an cynical, which you would expect from the life he's had. I probably would have made him a little nicer, which would have been a fault, so I'm glad you don't mind making your characters mean to your other characters! It adds nice spice to the story! Especially to have Jack's denial of the job contrasted with the fact that there's no way he'll be able to walk away from the offer. Very good writing!

I have almost no critiques at all, because I had a horrible time finding anything wrong with it! The only thing is that in the second paragraph, you mention the fact that he slept until noon before you say that he woke up the next morning. I found that just a little confusing, and I think if you switched the order in which you said those things it would make for tighter writing.

OH, I forgot to say: I love the way Jack talks to himself! "You're not in your sane mind," was my favorite line in the whole chapter! I absolutely love it! I must ask my parents if I can email you, because I'm just too in love with this story to stop reading it!

~Cherise

Oh Mariella, this is good! I think this chapter was the best of all! I am completely hooked!

The only thing I would add is something about how wide the beanstalk is, and something about it reaching up to the sky. Other than that, you did very well on the description! Congratulations!!

I love it!

Well, well, well! I think you could improve on not repeating things too much, like the not believing Norman part, though, altogether its a very good story, hope to read more :)

Exciting! But then again, in about 3 places it was hard to follow, though, I don't actually think that the grammar is made in the stories, its very pleasant.

Wow, this retell of Jack And The Beanstalk is very good, though, sometimes its hard to follow. Can't wait to read more!

Hey Mariella!

I like it! Very emotionally charged! The one thing I don't like about it is that it is a little unrealistic having everything be so against him. If I were writing it, I would make his sister not such a brat. Maybe she doesn't understand that he's being mistreated, or she pities him but is to submissive to stand up to their mother. I don't know *shrugs* those are just my ideas. I really enjoyed reading it, though, and I can't wait to see what you do with it!

I like it.

You've put a lot of emotion into it, but it doesn't come out over the top. He's bitter, but not quite to the angsty level, which works. He's been through eight years of this, and you have the resignment and degree of acceptance that things aren't going to change in any hurry, which fits with that. But underneath it all he still hurts. It's a difficult balance to achieve, and you've done fantastically.

It's an interesting voice - sort of third-person stream of consciousness, right? It's a difficult voice to get right, but you seem to be managing it very well.

I have a semi-challenge for you. Are you planning to ever switch perspectives? Because I know you have a lot in your other books, and if you were I would LOVE to see a chapter from his mother's perspective. Making Jack believable and likeable is pretty awesome. Making him believable and likeable without letting his mum become the villain instead is the mark of ultimate awesomeness. Which is, of course, just what one expects from an awesome doomful future bestseller empress... --grin--

Oh, and if you are doing multiple perspectives, one from the POV of Hanna would be totally cool. Getting inside the heads of spoilt brat little sisters is brilliantly fun.

Wait - I think I'm just making this more difficult. Goodness knows you have enough on your hands already! I'll quit with the challenges...

Tiny quibble: In the beginning, I thought it was his mother scribbling as she talked. It might make it easier if you switched it around a bit, or made it a new paragraph. I know it's difficult to change without making it bulky, but hey! You weren't dubbed empress for nothing, right? --grin-- I have faith in you.

Ha! Now you have no more reason to procrastinate about chapter two!

This passage was delightful; it stood out among the various works I've reviewed today.
The elaboration was beautiful - not overdone, not skimpy either.
Just a tip, if you want it - try using a few more sophisticated words; if you're using Ms. Word, the thesaurus would help. And try repeating the lines to yourself a few times when you finally edit your work, just to see if it sounds right.
Overall, it was quite a charming...narrative? Is it?
But I caught this - [He didn't even say goodbye as he stepped out into the could winter night air and stretched.]
That 'could' should be 'cold', I think. Unless you meant something else?
And this - [As slowly his memory returned to him, he found the little red-shaded home..]
Perhaps it should say 'Slowly, as is memory returned to him..' Or maybe that's just me.
And this as well - [As he climbed into bed once more – feeling like the same day he'd gone through for eight years had simply been repeated – he wondered...]
Is it 'feeling like the same way he'd always been for nearly more than half of his life' or 'feeling like the day was simply a repetition of the same day he'd gone through since as long as he could remember'?
And - [It had been a long time since he'd looked here in the first place.]
'It had been a long time since he'd looked there in the first place.'

Jack has got some serious issues, but then again so does his mother, for disowning him the way she did. Perhaps if she would've been more creative in thinking of ways to keep the farm, they could've kept it. Not only that, but sending a mere boy-eight year old one at that- to the market place, was just idiocy on her part. She should be reprimanded for doing something so iraneous. Anyway, poor jack. I like this story, it's really, really good. Worth the writing. I can't wait to see what happens!

Navaura