I felt that this one was a bit too chunky for my tastes, and with a poem like this the structure was a bit lacking. This had a very broad diction and I found it to still be effective just not to the degree as "Stone".

Wow, really nice piece. I think punctuation would help, but that's just me. I like my punctuation a lot. There's so much in this and it's just full of beautiful imagery and fantastic wording and I love the way you phrased things. Fabulous. Keep writing! :)

"Closer to the age of coming
Around to a tainted way of thinking"
--the line break and lines here arew truly stellar

and i love how fresh this whole thing feels

it hits home :]

"Beautiful, she descends." I loved that opening line! It captured my attention right away! :)

I don't know what to say, I'm almost in tears, I really really really enjoyed reading this piece! The ending was SO beautiful! :)

~Isca