hmm im thinking the lines you feel like shouldnt be ; but :

but again i love your comparisons and this doesnt suck so no hacking will be necessary

this is wonderful. YES, THIS MEANS YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOUR TOUCH!
i really like this.

'i feel like scratchy twelve
inch vinyls, ones that have forgotten
how to play, and i feel like maybe
i wasn’t cut out for this, maybe
i should forgive and forget, and
maybe i should'

Its my fav para.

you should like this too.

my touch away, losing particularly kids like this god don't either, i'm hack. i oh.




NO SUCH THING
YOU'RE WONDERFUL OKAY
KEEP WRITING IF YOU WANT TO AND LET IT SUCK SUCK SUCK GROSS EW WHO WOULD READ THIS

the bad ones can be your favorites
:]

konban wa

Hm, I don't know. I didn't love it, but I didn't particularly dislike it as you seem to. If you say this isn't your best work, it's good enough that I would like to check out some of your other poems (which I will do in a couple of seconds).

I love the "you feel like; / repition, / breathing / out in, / in out; / overused" The semicolon feels in the first line feels a little useless -- but that is only getting nitpicky there.

:) Off to read some of your other work.

Ha det
-Shan-