I usually don't like people using "ye" or "thou" because, let's face it- we're not in the old days anymore, but I LOVE how you used it here. It just works. On the other hand, I greatly disliked the use of "G-d". I would prefer that someone spells out "God" in full.

This poem is like a song. I could read it over andover again and I would never get tired of it! Keep writing stories and poems like this one, and don't stray on the path of sin.

Hey this is so good.

It's beautiful.

But I think that if you're going to write something like this about God, you shouldn't worry about sensoring His name.

. I don't think He would mind if you typed it out full.