|Reviews for Conflicting Innards|
| rolliepollie44 2/9/09 . chapter 1
Wow. Another where you'd think it'd be angsty but you did a good job of keeping it not. At first I thought it was going to be happy but then you twisted it and it converted very well. I like the simple "I am so brokenhearted". Perfect way to transition. Amazing job. :)
| WonderWing 10/14/08 . chapter 1
Damn, that is conflicting.
I bet you get this a lot- you tell people you feel bad and talk about it, and they end up saying 'you'll be alright, you're a good kid'. Lotta help that does though.
I like your writing style, it still has the directness of youth but it has the subtlety of a mature writer. Sometimes being a poet sucks, it feels like you are the only one really aware of a lot of things, even when others tell you they know how you feel, they never seem to have to really 'live with it' like you do.
Hope you keep writing, sorry for the compliments / I think the only improvement you can make is to keep writing, though. Hmm... also, this poem seems a little choppy. Try elaborating more- you could probably make this poem helluva lot better just by doubling the stanza size. Add some supporting emotional detail, don't just tell the reader what you feel in one-sentence 'let-you-knows' as I call em. You use quite a few metaphors in this poem, but it's good to use analogies, as well, it adds depth to the otherwise 2d impression of a metaphor standin by itself.
That's my input, have a good one man!
| opposites-can-and-WILL-attract 10/13/08 . chapter 1
Very good, it expresses your feelings beautifully :) God knows lots of people feel like that at times.