| Reviews for Suicide or murder? |
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Kyllorac 12/9/08 . chapter 1Freebie Review 3/5 I loved the imagery in this. It's so blunt and raw. I particularly adored "The desolate rope of life, / frayed, tearing, falling apart." I think that "someone to help her, / someone to save her," would work a little better than what you have currently. It would make a sharper contrast with "someone to end her misery." Again, you made good use of repetition. There is enough present to lend a rhythm and emphasis, but not so much that it is aggravating. n_n Flow, overall, was also fairly smooth. Experimenting with the punctuation in places (such as "And yet,") could work to enhance the flow/lend emphasis further. |