I still love this story, but I don't really know how to review it. I think you really have a talent for writing compelling descriptions with very few words. don't change :)

oh, and please update soon. yeah, I couldn't leave you a review without saying that! sorry for the extremely belated nature of this review, by the way.

Okay, I love this already. Once I saw the way Gallagher died, I was like, "Yes." Because Virginia Woolf. I don't even have words. And second person! Oh, second person. This is fabulous. Your words are careful and just right. I like it. Keep writing! :)

You've updated! I will be back (eventually) to leave a (sem)decent review!

i was so glad when i saw this in my inbox!

i enjoyed this chapter, as well as your writing style :D

please update soon!

Well im still trying to get a feel for this story, its quite different. I like the read-between-the-line feeling

Well, the story's confusing in general. But I don't hold that against it because that just makes it more fun to read. For me, at least. And I like how you don't explain everything at once; it all just kind of unravels itself as we go.

And one 'query'. The girl at the end that Mary hinted at? Who were they talking about exactly? (I had an idea, but I'm just asking.)

And great chapter again :) Even if it was a slow update, it was worth the wait. Good luck on the next chapter!

A lot of good phrases in this chapter. I have to name a few:

-rumors flying like paper aeroplanes
-days begin to stretch and run into each other, like watercolors on canvas
-his gaze is like an x-ray, and you’re just an easy book to be read, a body stripped bare to the bone. (my favourite)
-eyes averted to avoid the look of disapproval and too-blue eyes

Ok, that's enough quoting. The point is that I loved it. And I like Jake's character so far- not too sure about Mary and Althea at this point. They seem kinda b*tchy ;)

I don't have much to say with suggestions or critiscm. Just curious though.. your profile says that you're Australian, but a lot of this story has been Americanized- "color" as opposed to "colour"- is that intentional? I'm Australian as well so I feel strange reading Americanized words. It makes my eyes cross x]

Wow.

I never, ever like second person, but this actually sounds really interesting. Your summary was pretty pimp, too. (:

I adore this. Every bit of it.

Update soon!

Also, I was wondering if you had any book reccomendations? It would be greatly appreciated :D

Loved the reference to A Clockwork Orange. It's one of my favourite books/movies :)

For some reason, I was completely drawn in to Ms Wren's character. I think it's the way you described her-"of average height- willowy, brown eyes and too-round cheeks, quiet, unnerving." I also liked the lines "If you looked at either’s features separately, there would be no beauty or eloquence in them. But pieced altogether, there was something special planted in their faces." mainly because I know exactly what your trying to explain with it!

I cannot wait to see what happens next!

Ugh, I'm dying to know what all happened to Gallagher, so you're keeping the interest well there! And I'm usually not a huge fan of second person, but I like with Frankie. And you give her lots of personality; I like her. ^_^

[shudders] Ms Mason and her psychoanalysis. U~gh.

xD I love Frankie. And I'll be looking forward to your next update! Good luck, ;D

;D You said you knew you weren't the best author and you'd like to improve and hey, good for you! (Ugh, heck, I cringe every time I post something.) I like your writing, especially this chapter. She's easy to relate to.

Great job! ^_^

"It’s a sick curiosity, as Gallagher would have phrased it, what makes people crowd around train crashes and photograph homeless war veterans; intrigue walking hand-in-hand with disaster."

I like how you word things. And your summary's really good. ;D Guess I'll be off to chapter two, then. XD

Thank you for writing this. I'm not really good at articulating myself, I tend to stumble over phrasing and not make much sense, so. Thanks.