Personally, I find your writing incredibly literal. Your stories blend together into one that all seems like "Girl likes boy who is unsuited, major cheese ensues".

The writing itself lacks personality, and I find myself confused and disconnected to the characters.

I've read your other work, and I have to say, I'm not all that impressed. Everything is spelled out, in plain black and white. Keep me guessing - don't reveal everything.

Also, avoid "speaking" to your reader. Don't tell me - show me.

And on a side note: who is Mandy? Addie's best friend?

Continue to work on your writing is all the more advice I can offer.

-jaymee rose