This is probably the greatest story I have ever read on this website. It is mind-blowingly emotional, and meaningful, and somewhat depressing, and.. just... wow.

Very interesting concept. Your way of describing everything drew me in. Definitely going into my favs(:

-random, from the roadhouse

Wow, this was intense, strong and vivid. It had a lot of meaning and a very interesting concept. Everything described, I could see in a very cinematic style. I like it, good job.

This story has a dark, gloomy overtone that makes you want to keep reading. I loved it

Wow. A disturbing insight into the human condition.

Both well-thought and thought-provoking, this is quite a gem.

Found it on the Hype board, and I am glad I did.

That...is...so sad..

But I commend you for writing it, it's beautifully written.

Only problem is, you confuse your tenses quite a lot.

e.g. "I wake up" followed by "I watched." -f "I feel" -"I sunk"

Apart from that, well done!

Keep writing!

Star

The beginning confused me a little, but once I got into it I started to like it.

The ending was intense with all the vivid imagery of the death. I could truely see the scene you were presenting.

The ending however, if the character was taking more pills would they not forget why they are taking them again? Just a thought.

Otherwise, good job.

Areku

This was very well done. Scary and depressing but beautifully written. It's the good kind of confusing, too.

Holy cannoli. I greatly enjoyed this. You word things in a way that sucks the reader into relating and realizing what the narrator is going through without ever having been through it. And your use of dramatic irony was well placed.

A few edits needed here and there, but not much. Such as: "brushing my teeth for washing my face". Also, when the narrator says "I Smell static.", is this an example of the groggy brain confusing the senses from ill-use, or is it just a mistake? I think it would've been clearer that it was intentional if you added another after that.

But all around, very powerful.

[to, three round pills on a Petri dish] you could put a semicolon there, instead of a comma. Unless you don't like semicolons...

Wow. This is amazing writing. Seriously. Very powerful, I like the lack of dialogue.

Gorgeous, absolutely spectacular.

Cae, the Roadhouse

Dang, that was awesome! xD

I like the lack of dialogue- it's a nice change. Besides, the description definetly makes up for it. I could picture things nicely. My only criticism is that you switched tenses in the third section. But that is all.

I never thought of water that way, either. Great story! :D

WOW.

That was AMAZING!

Just wow.

I'm honestly speechless.

I really liked this story. At the end of the story though I was wondering whether or not it was better for the main character to be taking the meds. I guess you were using the pills to represent the things we use in modern society to distract us from the negative realities/excesses of our society.

I loved this. Keep up the amazing work!

Wow. That was a really powerul piece of work. I congratualte thee. The narrator was strangely compelling though he/she didn't have any emotion or personal characterizations apart from the pills. Cool.

-Stardust from the Roadhouse.