Hmm. I never really know how to read songs (not being a very musical person myself) but I really liked this. I wish I could hear it...I liked the way you played with rhyming and half-rhyming, and...yeah, just everything.

Well done. (and thanks for your review)

A wonderfully worded piece, with good rhythm as well. I was very intrigued by the thought "she's a sound, a place I can manipulate". I think it speaks of the malleability of things, their impermanence. Great poem, very much enjoyed reading it.

this is the first thing of yours i've read and it's really great, and probably anything i can say will apply more or less to other things of yours i haven't seen yet.

of course you can never go wrong with the blues. but what i particularly love is how you insist on not dumbing down. i love seeing complex thinking and emotion and unabashedly er um progressive vocabulary in a simple (so-called) framework. fabulous.

Marvelous progression with the way that you wraparound the sound through word choice and placement. The listener can relate to the feelings portrayed. Slant rhyme works well to bridge the continuation without getting bombarded by the audible repetition. Well done. MD:77.