 theinfinitebee 2008-10-15 . chapter 1I wish I could read minds, I really do.
The flow of it is slightly different, and it took me a few times reading it to understand because of that - but I like that. It made me pause and think, not just pass over anything. But after I read it a second time, I loved how it so much more.
I like how you have "it's midnight" separated. And then the following stanza, it sounds like you're talking about either insomnia (from school or something else or maybe both?) and going on a different path from everyone else.
"...and gravity itself/is only a lunar dream." I love the phrase "lunar dream" and that stanza (and the one before it) makes it sound like you're daydreaming. Or just dreaming of something in general.
"shadow-painted eyes" gives me two impressions...one, lack of sleep = bags under your eyes. and two, that you're hiding something. (you know, the phrase 'eyes are the windows to your soul') which, knowing you, isn't much of a surprise. I like how you put van Gogh in thereā¦just broadens the mental image tremendously. Twisted canvases = another image that I love.
I don't understand "as I burn indigo up to the shifting veil of stars" though...what are you trying to say there? It's pretty and poetic, but I don't understand the meaning behind it.
I love the alliteration in the last stanza, especially "cursive constellations", and the image that the whole stanza leaves.
And the last line, as usual, ends it perfectly. I love it.
I wish I knew how you came up with this stuff, Julia. |