I found this poem very interesting. Most acrostic poems I find are very juvenile, but you really did a good job working with this one and turning it into an actual poem.

Two lines particularly stood out in my mind:

[Under the dome of sky we stand, with] I like the phrasing of “the dome of sky.” Very creative, and a good way to start this off.

[Repeated, unceasing, hoping to grasp some] I like the way you used “repeated, unceasing.” The repetition of similar word really intensified their meaning.

Very beautiful work!

~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)

I like the thing about eternity and I think the words were perfect.